


The Hiding Places

by Rysler



Category: Guiding Light
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-18
Updated: 2011-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-18 08:41:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rysler/pseuds/Rysler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why Natalia really left Springfield right before the Bauer barbecue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hiding Places

**Author's Note:**

> Just the standard angsty first time PWP, but provides Natalia with a seedy Chicago backstory that may not be to everyone's tastes. No, not THAT kind of seedy. AU-ish. No pregnancy. Spoilers through the end of the series.

Late August, 2009

Olivia no longer lived at the Beacon, not really. She lived on the playgrounds with her daughter, in the parks with her baby daddy. She lived at the grave of her departed best friend, at the diner where her son argued with her, at the mansions and city halls and any bar that would serve her club soda and any day camp where Emma could paint her face and give her flowers with dirty, happy hands.

She no longer slept at the Beacon. She was too restless, too sober, too torn up by demons and memories, and too uncomfortable with the hard angles of the picture frame wrapped in her arms, with the other side of the bed empty, with the pills lined up on the bedside table.

Natalia had trouble finding her, but finally followed her from Beacon office to suite, staying in the shadows, ducking behind plants, until Olivia closed her door. Natalia heard the click. She debated whether to knock or to just use her key. She figured if she just knocked and Olivia slammed the door in her face, she could then use the key.

She liked to give people chances.

She knocked.

Olivia opened the door, already in a robe, looking exhausted but healthy. She slammed the door in Natalia's face.

Natalia pressed her ear to the door. She thought she heard a sob. She dug out her key and opened the door and slipped inside.

Olivia sat against the wall with her hands around her knees. She wasn't crying, but seemed shell-shocked and pale. Less healthy than a moment ago.

"Olivia?" Natalia knelt.

"I thought I saw a ghost."

"It's me. I'm really here." Natalia touched her cheek.

Olivia jerked away.

Natalia said, "Olivia? I'm hungry. Can you order room service?" She'd rehearsed this.

"Order it yourself."

"I can't. It--It needs to be your voice."

Olivia glanced at her--or rather, at some place near her shoulder--and then sighed and got up, going to the phone.

"Thank you, Olivia," Natalia said.

Olivia said, "Room service? I want the spinach salad with strawberries and chicken, onion rings, and the '97 Salon." She paused. "Yes, I know what I said. It's not for me." She listened. "There's an extra fifty bucks in it if it's here within a half hour. Yes, I know you're not Dominos. It's my fucking hotel!" She slammed the receiver down.

Natalia said, "You stopped drinking."

"I just took a little break, that's all."

"Why?"

"I was going to kill myself."

"Oh."

Olivia sat on the bed.

Natalia went to the bathroom.

"Leave the--" Olivia stopped.

"I will," Natalia said. "I'm not going anywhere."

Olivia sighed.

Natalia washed her hands, and then washed her face, and then used the bathroom and then did everything again. She didn't emerge until the food came and the waiter left.

Olivia hadn't moved.

Natalia ate. Ravenously, with appetite. Olivia watched her hawkishly, but said nothing until Natalia was done and had taken the first sip of champagne. $300 a bottle. Much more than the cost of the champagne that Olivia had offered the day they were going to make love for the first time. The day they were going to tell their children all their secrets.

Olivia asked, "Where the hell have you been?"

"Olivia, I..."

"No. You know what? I don't even want to know. I should be telling you to get out. Get out, Natalia. There's a half a dozen men in this town that would take you in without a question asked."

"Olivia?"

"I would have followed you anywhere. I would have chased you to the ends of the earth. I tried to find you. I went to every church and screamed your name. I tracked down every number in your little black book. I tried... " Olivia took a deep breath and put her head in her hands. "Wherever you go, Natalia. You're all that mattered. What the hell are you doing here?"

Natalia sat on the bed and took Olivia's hands, drawing them down from her face. "I know. I know you couldn't find me."

"I gave up, Natalia."

"You--You look so tired, Olivia." Natalia's spoke in a rush, as if to get the words out, the apology, before any blow came. She was bad at confessions, even worse at hurting people.

Olivia laughed. "You should have seen me a week ago. A month ago. Sitting outside your door, throwing wine glasses. Shattering... everything."

"Olivia, I know. And I would chase you back. I would. With red roses and lilies and home baked cookies, and standing outside your door no matter how many nights you screamed at me. I would woo you a thousand days for every moment you spent chasing me. No one else has ever chased me, Olivia. Measure for measure, right? I owe you. Olivia, I am in your debt. But right now, I can't...I can't do all that. I need your help."

Olivia turned her head just enough to meet Natalia's eyes. She looked sick, and haunted, but that didn't stop Natalia from asking.

"Help me, Olivia. Please."

"What do you need?"

A knock came at the door.

Natalia jerked up. "I need you to hide me."

"What? From who?"

"Please."

"Okay. Go into the bathroom," Olivia said.

"Olivia--"

"Just go! Jesus Christ."

Natalia closed the door.

* * *

Olivia rubbed at her face and then got up and flung open the door.

Mallet stood in front of her.

"What the fuck do you want?" Olivia asked.

He rubbed the back of his head. "I know this is going to sound funny, but... I'm looking for Natalia," he said.

"Natalia?"

"Natalia Rivera?"

"She's not here," Olivia said. She tried to close the door.

Mallet stepped into the doorway. "Are you sure?"

"Am I sure? Have you missed the last month of my life? I mean, I know you've been busy with the baby and that damn--woman of yours and that your life isn't all rosy and peachy like mine is, but really?"

"So you don't know that she's back in town," Mallet said.

"If she was, I would be the last person in Springfield who would ever help her."

"I know, but--"

Olivia gave him a little push and then slammed the door.

Natalia was out of the bathroom before Olivia could even turn around.

"Thank you, Olivia," Natalia said.

"Why are the cops after you?"

Natalia swallowed.

Olivia must have seen something in her face, because she said. "Nevermind. Do you want more to eat?"

Natalia shook her head.

Olivia perched again on the bed. She shifted restlessly, curling her toes into the carpet.

Natalia knelt beside her and offered her champagne.

"Natalia, I don't--"

"I'm here now."

"You're not here."

"I'm sitting right here. Have a drink. It'll make you feel better." Natalia said.

Olivia drank. The Salon '97 had been an excellent choice. Like drinking rosewater that bubbled up to tickle her nose. Natalia rubbed her back and she managed not to flinch.

"I--" Natalia started. But she didn't finish.

Olivia drained the glass and set it down on the carpet. Then she began to cry, hugging herself, rocking forward. Natalia wrapped her arms around Olivia's shoulders and held her close. Only after minutes of sobbing did Olivia realize that Natalia was crying, too, shaking with tears as she pressed her face against Olivia's neck. Olivia covered Natalia's hands. She had always wanted to fall apart in Natalia's arms.

Not quite like this. She took a deep breath and tried to move, but Natalia held her tighter.

"Don't," Natalia said.

Olivia closed her eyes.

Natalia kept crying, as silently as she could, until Olivia toppled sideways. She closed her eyes and tried to let the heaviness in her chest carry her into sleep.

* * *

Olivia woke up to darkness outside the windows and Natalia was next to her, curled up and facing away. But there. Asleep. Looking like an angel.

Olivia let out all the curse words she knew, but Natalia didn't stir. So Olivia ordered breakfast and sat in her favorite chair and contemplated Natalia's existence in her bedroom. And worked herself into a rage.

Natalia groaned. "Olivia?"

"Do you want coffee?"

Natalia rolled onto her back. "I think so."

"You think so? This is your problem, Natalia. You're so damn indecisive, and--"

"Shut up, please..."

"Why should I have to shut up? It's my suite."

"It's like, five in the morning, and..."

"It's nearly five-thirty."

"Please just be quiet for five more minutes." Nataila closed her eyes. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

Olivia stewed and sipped coffee and ate some eggs.

Natalia sat up. "Coffee," she announced.

"Look who's made up her mind."

Natalia reached out.

Olivia sighed and handed her a coffee cup.

"Thank you, Olivia."

"Do you still need me to hide you? Or was that a last night only thing? A one night stand?"

Natalia raised one eyebrow, and then half-smiled. She took a sip of coffee.

"Well?"

"I still need you to hide me, Olivia," Natalia said.

"Okay, we'll just stay here and order room service for the rest of our lives."

"That was always your plan, wasn't it?"

"No, my plan was to go away. With you. The great spa tour of '09, remember?"

Natalia looked away. "I remember."

"But see, I can't right now, Natalia. I'm trying to raise my daughter. And I'm trying to look after a boy who has lost both his parents, who's a little lost himself right now. And Phillip--Well, he needs me more than ever. And Josh and Reva...Let's not even get started. Not to mention I have one child who lost her father this year, Natalia. And another who's about to."

Natalia looked up. "What?"

"Jeffery is gone. And Phillip... he's dying. He's dying, Natalia."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Natalia covered her mouth.

Olivia looked away. "Anyway. And Doris, well, she's either on the brink of something beautiful or something terrible. So I'm needed, Natalia. I'm not alone anymore."

"You were never alone," Natalia said.

Olivia stood up. "I have to--I have to get out of here. And find out why the cops are after you."

"Olivia."

"I can't just stay here with you. Even if I wanted to."

"You're going to leave me alone? In your suite? And trust that I'll be here when I get back?"

"Well... no."

* * *

Josh sat down on the bed next to Natalia. "Hi," he said.

"Hi, Josh."

"So. How've you been?"

"Oh, you know, I've been better."

"Me too."

Natalia asked, "Did you sleep with Olivia?"

"What? Not recently... Did you?"

"Nope."

"Well, that's go--Well, that's something." Josh sprawled back on the bed and tucked his hands behind his head.

Natalia moved to the chair. She asked, "You don't have anywhere you need to be?"

"I wish."

Natalia folded her hands over her waist.

Josh asked, "Should we pray?"

"Unless it's 'My lover is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi,' I don't want to hear it."

"Fair enough. We could watch TV." Josh propped himself up on some pillows. "Why doesn't Olivia have a TV?"

"I took it away. When she was sick."

"You are a horrible person."

Natalia sighed. "I know. Tell me stories, Josh. About the kids."

"Well, you have been gone a while, you may not know this. But Henry..."

* * *

Olivia swept into the police station. "I may have been hasty last night."

Mallet looked warily up from his desk.

She said, "I was in a bad mood. I mean, it was late, Mallet."

"What do you want?"

"I want to know why you're looking for Natalia."

"What business is it of yours, Olivia? You made it pretty clear last night that you haven't got a clue where she is."

"That's true. But I'm concerned." She sat down in the chair in front of his desk.

He sighed and folded his arms.

She said, "I'm the one who filed that missing persons report on her, after all."

"Yes, which caught the attention of the FBI."

"The FBI?"

"Look, Olivia--"

"No, you look. She's got a power of attorney on me. Has for a year. We were going to adopt the kids together. You understand adoption, right?"

"Did you file?"

"No, but I can have the mayor over here so fast--"

"Fine, fine. You guys are like, married, technically speaking? You and...Natalia Rivera?"

Olivia gave a short laugh. "Technically speaking. Sure. Just lay it out for me, Mallet. Better I hear it from you."

"I don't know all the details, but it's something to do with Gus. He was an FBI agent, remember?"

"Sure. He came to Springfield on some mob case. Is Natalia--Uh, is she a--?"

"A mobster? Natalia?"

"Then what, Mallet?"

"I don't know. Maybe she was undercover. Maybe she was working with Gus and followed him here."

"Sixteen years later?"

Mallet shrugged. "Maybe she saw something. Maybe she was going to testify. The FBI isn't sharing too much. They called the Agency, since I had experience in Springfield, and flew me down. They're just looking."

Olivia put her face in her hands.

"Olivia?"

"This just... sickens me. I mean, who is she, Mallet? Who was she, all this time?"

"I don't know. It kind of adds up. I mean think about the last two years. She got herself into the Spaulding mansion. She got Frank to protect her. She spent most of her time with you--you're the richest woman in town, and certainly the most ornery."

"Tell that to Reva."

Mallet smiled. "I don't know why they're here. Maybe everything Natalia said is true. She was just a poor thing trying to raise a little boy and got in over her head."

Olivia thought about the Decker deal, and about Natalia's three jobs, and about Harley and Gus. No one worked that hard without doing it for a lifetime. No one could keep secrets like that from two cops.

Mallet touched her shoulder. "Olivia, what I do know is, if you hear from her? You've got to convince her to come in."

"So the FBI can take her away again?"

"Olivia."

She got up. "I'm not going to let that happen."

Mallet stood.

"I've got to pick Emma up from camp," she said.

"I'll go with you."

"No!" She waved him away. "You have to go find Natalia. You hunter, you."

* * *

"Maybe I should take Emma to Phillip's for a few days," Olivia said, looking at the school as she leaned against her car.

"You haven't let Emma out of your sight with him all summer except the trip to San Francisco. And to stay with a Spaulding?" Josh said through the phone.

"I can't keep an eye on everyone I love, Josh. This irritates the hell out of me."

"Just bring Emma home. She can keep a secret."

"She shouldn't have to."

"No one should have to. Please, just come home."

"That's not my home, Josh."

"Well, it's mine. Don't be a pain in the ass, Olivia."

She closed the phone.

The children spilled out of the school, Emma in the middle of the pack, talking with little girls who looked just like her. Friends. Olivia remembered having those. She wondered if Emma would follow in her footsteps, be the loudest girl at the slumber party, the one willing to take truth or dare to any level demanded, or to sneak into embassy parties, or onto yachts, to steal alcohol and laugh until everyone laughed with her.

Emma hugged her.

"Hi, Em. We're going to the Beacon today, okay?"

"Can't we go somewhere fun?"

"You just had a whole day of fun. Didn't you?"

"It was all right. But I want to go to the movies. With you."

"I have something better," Olivia said.

She shouldn't bribe her daughter. She rubbed her chest as she knelt.

Emma was used to surprises. She just raised her eyebrows and smiled.

"We are going to have dinner with Natalia," Olivia said.

"She's here?"

"Yes, she's here."

Emma threw her arms around Olivia's neck, and Olivia held her, and let the tears fall freely where Emma couldn't see them, equally as happy as her child.

* * *

"Where's Natalia?" Emma asked, bursting into the suite.

Natalia and Josh looked from their game of chess. Natalia smiled. "I'm right here, sweetie."

Emma stopped two feet from here. "Where have you been?"

"I was away."

"Were you sick?"

"I was a little sick, yeah."

"Like mommy?"

Natalia looked over Emma's head at Olivia. She swallowed, and looked back at Emma. "No, not like your mommy. But your mommy is going to take care of me, just like I took care of her."

"That's only fair," Emma said.

Josh got up and walked to Olivia, glancing over his shoulder as Emma crawled onto Natalia's lap.

Olivia asked, "How was she?"

"Natalia? She's scared, and stubborn, and kind of depressed. What did you find out?"

"The FBI wants her."

"What did she do?"

"She didn't do--Hell, I don't know, Josh. Did you ask her?"

"Nope. Did you?"

"I tried."

Josh said, "Maybe you should try again."

"She may not be who she pretends to be, Josh. She may not even be Natalia Rivera."

"Olivia, look at her."

Natalia whispered in Emma's ear, laughing, and Emma beamed at her.

Olivia folded her arms.

Josh said, "I ordered you guys pizza. It should be here soon. I'm off."

"Yes, go back to your real life, Josh."

"You go back to yours."

* * *

Olivia tucked Emma into her room and read her a story, leaving Natalia alone in the main bedroom. She knew she was taking a risk. Natalia knew it was a test. Olivia kissed Emma's hair and then went through the door, waiting for hell to descend on her again.

Natalia was still there. Among the pizza debris and three sets of shoes. Reading the Bible.

"Where did you get that? I don't allow the Gideons in my hotel."

"First of all, yes you do, and second, it's mine. It was in the staff apartment and Josh found it for me. You didn't let any of the other maids stay there when I moved to the boarding house?"

"It's a shitty apartment," Olivia said.

"That's for sure."

Olivia sat down across from Natalia at the table.

Natalia closed the Bible.

Olivia asked, "Why are you here?"

Natalia looked down at her hands.

"Why did you leave?"

"When Gus and I were kids... He didn't leave Chicago because of me, Olivia. I mean, I don't know where to start. He and I, we both got in trouble."

"I've met Trouble," Olivia said.

Natalia shook her head. "He used to run errands for the Santos. Part of the Outfit, you know?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows.

Natalia said, "Nicky had money. Never too much, and his dad was a cop and that was a decent enough job, but Nicky spent every cent of what he had on me. Taking me to the movies, buying me trinkets. He always said he wanted to give me more. He always said--" Natalia shook her head.

Olivia reached for her hand. "Natalia."

"My parents liked him. Nice boy. Athlete. Very sweet. But then his father--And then one night, he disappeared." She squeezed Olivia's fingers.

"You thought--"

"I thought he must have seen something. Gotten himself... hurt. I know now that he went after them for revenge, because of his parents. He went undercover, and then got pulled into the FBI. And I was pregnant. The Outfit, they looked for him, too, and then they reached out to me. As long as I stayed in Chicago, I had a job. Two jobs, three jobs. I thought I could move up, you know? Get enough information to--" she hesitated.

"Find out what happened to Gus?"

Natalia nodded, her eyes full of tears.

"But I couldn't. They didn't care about me, any more than anyone else did. I was just... charity work. Some girl they kept off the streets. They were just paying a debt, since my parents wouldn't, and then..." Natalia took a deep breath. "Since I did a good job, but I wouldn't date any of them, and my kid was annoying, they forgot about me. And I tried to forget about them. Until. Until it got too be too much and I just fled. I ended up here. Doesn't everyone end up here?"

Olivia said, "At some point, you must have gone to the cops."

"I did. When Rafe was three or four, I guess. They started a file. But it never went anywhere. And when they learned I just wanted to know about Nicky, they saw me as some... gold digger. Some user, or something. Nicky's daddy was dirty, so I must be too."

Olivia rubbed Natalia's hand.

Natalia exhaled.

Olivia said, "But that's not--The Santos stuff is long over. Gus is dead. What happened?"

"I saw--Just for a moment--He must have been staying at the Beacon. And I panicked. Maybe he didn't recognize me, maybe he did. Maybe the family knows Gus isn't their long lost son, or maybe they think he is. Or maybe they don't know even he's dead. I went to Blake, and she got me enough money to get out of town, and I certainly knew I couldn't go to Chicago."

"Where did you go?"

"I went to St. Louis? And then Indianapolis, and then Des Moines--Des Moines is really nice. And then I couldn't--I couldn't run anymore. I called Father Ray and he got me into a retreat and I just... I prayed for all of this to go away."

"Why didn't you come to me? I have money, I have whatever you need. Why?"

Natalia said, "I love you, Olivia. You're my whole life. The last time someone I loved got near a Santos, I lost them for sixteen years. A lifetime. I couldn't--I couldn't let them hurt you."

"Nothing can hurt me," Olivia said.

"Everything hurts you." Natalia got up and walked toward the bathroom. When she reached the door, she asked, "Any more questions?"

"Why is the FBI after you?"

"I don't know."

"Did you know they pulled Mallet in because he knows you? And he's got connections?"

Natalia shook her head. She asked, "Where do you want me to sleep, Olivia?"

"Here. Right here. I'm not letting you out of my sight. Well, except right now. I'll shower in Emma's bathroom. But--be here when I get back."

"Yeah." Natalia went into the bathroom and closed the door.

When Olivia came back to the bedroom, wearing a satin nightgown and a fluffy Beacon robe, wondering what Natalia had raided from her closet, she found Natalia already in bed in a baggy sweatshirt and shorts with the covers turned down.

"I should really get a TV," Olivia said, draping the robe on the chair.

"That's what Josh said."

Olivia got into bed. She turned out the lights. She stretched out on her back to stare at the blackness above her.

Natalia sat up.

"What, Natalia?"

"I came back because I couldn't live without you," Natalia said.

"So now the Outfit will come and you'll die with me?"

"I--Yes."

"Fantastic."

Natalia settled onto her side, looking down into Olivia's face. She said, "I love you. I know you're angry, and I will make it up to you. I will spend every day making it up to you. When this is all over. If this is ever all over."

"Stop. Just, stop."

Natalia stopped.

Olivia reached for her, found her tangled, damp hair, pulled her down and found her lips, warm and pliant and parted. Olivia kissed her, giving up everything she had, everything she was. Natalia tasted her in return, offering her tongue. Her hand caressed Olivia's cheek, and neck, and shoulder. The kiss lingered until Olivia was breathless. They parted, blinking against the darkness with lips cooling. Olivia ached with melancholy and so she kissed Natalia again, this time more gently. Trying to ease the ache in her heart. Natalia cupped her face. Traced her ear.

Olivia almost smiled.

"I know," Natalia whispered. "You used to do that to me all the time."

"Let me guess, it was your favorite thing."

"No," Natalia said. She brushed noses with Olivia. "I liked it best when you held my hand. It made me feel...connected to you."

Olivia reached up and covered Natalia's hand on her face with her own.

Natalia leaned closer, hesitating just above Olivia's lips.

Olivia squeezed her fingers.

Natalia kissed her, tugging on her lower lip until Olivia succumbed, opening completely to her tongue. She let go of Natalia's hand to cup her face, and then to wrap her arms around Natalia's waist and pull her close and break the kiss.

"We can't do this," Olivia said.

"Why not?"

"Because it's not safe. Not yet."

Natalia settled her head onto Olivia's shoulder. She took Olivia's free hand and settled it onto her stomach.

"Natalia?"

"Mm?"

"I love you."

Natalia tightened her grip on Olivia.

Olivia rubbed Natalia's back.

Natalia said, "I love you too, Olivia."

* * *

Natalia didn't stir the next morning until there was a knock at the door. She tensed.

"That's room service."

Olivia's voice seemed far away. Natalia sat up. Olivia, fully dressed, got up from the chair and went to the door. Olivia pulled the room service cart in.

"Go away," Olivia said to whoever was behind the door. Then she shut the door and turned around. "Coffee?"

Natalia nodded.

Olivia poured.

Natalia rubbed her eyes and asked, "How long have you been up?"

"A half hour? Not long. You were dead to the world. I guess you have a lot to sleep off."

"All that pizza. And Josh is exhausting." Natalia accepted coffee.

Olivia raised her eyebrows.

Natalia blushed. "Not like that."

"Do you know why I trust Josh so much?"

"Because he has the face of an angel?"

"No. Well, yes. But also, because he's the only man I've ever met who can refuse my charms."

"The only person," Natalia said.

"What?"

"He's the only person who can refuse your charms." Natalia offered a coquettish smile.

Olivia rubbed her cheek. "Sure."

"So, what's the plan?" Natalia asked.

"You're asking me?"

Natalia tilted her head. "You always have a plan."

"Fine. Part one, is you're staying here."

"And Josh is coming over?"

Olivia shook her head. "Phillip. I need you to watch him with Emma. Okay?"

"You trust me to watch Phillip? Isn't that kind of a fox watching the hen house situation?"

"Well, if you two abscond with my daughter, I'll have learned a lesson, won't I?"

Natalia shook her head.

"Besides, you'll have the gun. Shoot him if necessary."

"I'm not going to shoot anyone, Olivia."

"It doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

Olivia sat on the bed and faced Natalia. "I think if it came down to it, he'd die to protect you and Emma."

"Olivia."

"What does he have to lose?"

"How about the rest of his family?"

"He's Emma's father and Rafe's uncle and he really likes you."

"He really likes you, too."

"Whether or not he likes me isn't important."

Natalia sighed.

Olivia cupped Natalia's face in her hands. "Only a few people have to like me. Unfortunately, including Rafe."

Natalia smiled. She held Olivia's wrists. "We'll get there."

"Yeah, with all this time we have."

Natalia leaned in.

A rhythmic knock came at the door.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "That's Phillip."

"Tapping in code?"

"No, just being Phillip." Olivia got up and let him in.

"Hello, Olivia. Natalia." He smiled.

Natalia smiled at him as she put her coffee cup on the table.

"Well. Phillip," Olivia said. "You should know that Emma is asleep, breakfast is here for you all, security is in the building, and Natalia's authorized to shoot you."

"I understand completely."

"I won't be gone all day." Olivia said.

Natalia went to her at the door. "I know you're going to save me. From the FBI and the CIA and the mob and everyone else. And I love you enough to let you do something big. Go be my hero."

"What about saving you from me?"

Natalia wrapped her arms around Olivia's shoulders. "That's my job."

Olivia cleared her throat. "Phillip, turn around."

"I've seen two women kissing before."

Natalia turned around and she and Olivia simultaneously demanded, "Who?"

Phillip just grinned.

"Those Spauldings," Natalia said.

"Maybe we should have put you up there," Olivia said. "More entertaining than the TV I don't have."

"There's one at the farmhouse."

"We're not at the farmhouse."

"We will be, as soon as the FBI goes away."

Olivia wrinkled her nose, but let Natalia pull her down for a kiss.

"I love you," Olivia said when Natalia let her go. She pointed at Phillip. "Not you."

"Have a good day terrorizing the town, Olivia," he said.

She slammed the door as she left.

Natalia turned to Phillip. "Breakfast?"

"The Beacon bacon and eggs is legendary." He settled at the table.

She joined him, clutching her coffee cup.

Phillip asked, "So, Natalia, how have you been? Where have you been? What's up with you these days?"

She sighed.

* * *

Olivia found Doris in the empty court room, setting out pens and legal pads on the prosecutor's table.

"Don't you have people who can handle that?" Olivia asked.

"Budget cuts. How can I help you, Olivia?"

Olivia paced, walking from jury box to defense table and back.

"Olivia," Doris said. "Out with it. I have things to do."

Olivia hesitated.

Doris glowered.

"Natalia's back," Olivia said.

"Where?"

"In my hotel room. Right now."

Doris gaped.

"She kissed me. I kissed her. I don't know what to do, Doris."

"Finally. The time has come." Doris reached her hands out to Olivia. "Let me draw you a picture of what to do next. We can use one of these nice legal pads."

Olivia swatted Doris away. "No, I mean, about her being gone. About her coming back. About the FBI and--"

"Wait, why did she come back?"

"For me, she says."

"Do you believe her?"

"I guess."

Doris sighed. "Okay. What's this about the FBI?"

* * *

Natalia sprawled on Olivia's bed and read while Phillip and Emma played Candy Land. Phillip was winning. Olivia always let Emma win, to create in her a taste for victory and success, which Natalia thought was stupid.

Phillip asked, not looking up from the board, "Did Olivia tell you... about me?"

"Yes," Natalia said.

He nodded.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I wish we'd had more time to get to know one another."

"Me too."

"You're responsible for all this," he said, gesturing at his daughter.

"Me?"

"You kept your promise. If I was patient, I'd get my daughter back."

Emma looked up at him and beamed.

Natalia said, "It's important. My son grew up without a father, and as much as I hate--I hate--to admit it, he would have been a different boy with a man around."

"He's a good boy now," Phillip said.

"Yeah. But it's harder, without help."

"Is Olivia helping?"

"With Rafe?"

Phillip nodded.

Emma giggled.

"What's so funny, Em?" he asked.

"Mom treats Rafe just like me. Only like he's always in trouble."

Natalia nodded.

Phillip asked, "What are your intentions, Natalia?"

"Toward Olivia?"

"Toward my family."

"I'm staying. But--"

"There's always a 'but.'"

Emma frowned and rolled the dice.

"But," Natalia acknowledged. "It's not without danger."

"It never is."

"Would you help us run? If it came to that?"

"I would give you whatever you need," Phillip said.

Emma shook her head. "We're not leaving."

Phillip asked, "If you could go anywhere in the world, Emma, where would it be?"

"The farmhouse," Emma said.

Natalia rubbed her eyes.

Phillip shook his head. "You women. I, frankly, wouldn't mind seeing Paris again..."

* * *

Olivia swept into Company. Buzz stood at the bar, talking to two men in black suits.

"Cliche, much?" she muttered.

Buzz waved her over. "Olivia, these nice men are from the FBI."

"I like nice men," she purred.

Buzz said, "They're looking for Natalia Rivera."

She leaned against the bar. "Found her yet?"

"Not yet," the tall, dark, and handsome one said. He flipped through his Palm. "You're--who?"

"Olivia Spencer." To Buzz, she said, "I've already been interrogated."

"Whatever is your connection with Natalia Rivera?" Buzz asked.

She leaned across the bar and pushed his arm.

The agent said, "Agent Mallet spoke to you two days ago."

"Has it been that long?"

Buzz looked at the ceiling.

Olivia said, "Agent Mallet. Has such a nice ring to it."

"Can we stop talking about Mallet, please?" Buzz asked.

The agents looked at him.

"Bad family thing," Olivia said, waving Buzz away. "So boys, tell me why you're looking for Natalia Rivera?"

"What's your connection, Ms. Spencer?"

"I employ her."

Buzz frowned.

She said, "Okay, I pay her COBRA, how about that? And half her mortgage."

The agent glanced at his Palm again, stuck it in his breast pocket, and offered his hand. "I'm Carroll Parker."

"Carol?"

"Family name," he said.

Olivia shrugged.

Carroll asked, "Have you seen Ms. Rivera lately?"

"Not since July second. Or was it third? The days blur together. But before the Fourth of July. Definitely before then."

"That was the last contact you had with her?"

"Yes. She hasn't called, she hasn't written. No smoke signals. No angels visiting me in my dreams."

Carroll glanced at Buzz.

Buzz lifted his hands. "That's Olivia Spencer."

The second agent offered her a photograph. "Do you know this man?" he asked.

Olivia studied it, trying to remember his face, his details, to tell Natalia later. But he just looked like a slightly pudgy, dark-haired guy. Italian or Hispanic or Greek or Rick on a bad day, she couldn't tell. She felt like she'd stepped into a late night cable cop show.

"No," she said, and handed it back. "Who is it?"

"He's a real bad guy, Ms. Spencer."

"I've married a few of those. Does he have a name?"

"Grady. We think Ms. Rivera might have encountered him here in Springfield."

"Why would she 'encounter' him?"

"That's a good question. Did you know Nicholas Aitoro?"

"I did, yes."

The second agent said, "Dirty, stinking--"

"Hey!" Olivia lunged at him. He stepped back and Carroll caught her. She clawed at his arms.

Buzz came around and tugged her back by the waist. Olivia scowled.

"He was a good guy around here," Buzz said.

"The guy that, after being bounced from the FBI for his vendetta, identity fraud, and planting evidence, got caught bribing doctors and crooks in exchange for..." Carroll pulled out his Palm and tapped through it. "Oh. And you would be that Olivia Spencer."

Olivia struggled against Buzz. "I'm going to kill them. Slowly."

Buzz clamped a hand over her mouth. "Try not to threaten federal agents, Olivia. I know it's hard. Look, it's safe to say we knew Gus Aitoro, all right? What's his connection to Grady?"

"That, we can't share. Ms. Spencer, we think Grady stayed at a hotel in town in July. And you own a hotel, right. Can we have a look at your records?"

Olivia licked Buzz's hand.

"She says 'yes,'" Buzz said.

"We'll be by, Ms. Spencer," Carroll said.

Buzz pushed her into a chair. "Behave."

Olivia sulked.

Buzz asked Carroll, "What's your next stop?"

"The mayor's office."

Buzz and Olivia winced.

The agents looked between them.

Buzz said, "Have fun."

Olivia gave them the finger.

They headed for the back entrance.

Buzz knelt in front of Olivia. "I'm assuming you know where Natalia is."

"Yes."

"Does Doris Wolfe?"

"Yes."

"Does Frank?"

"I haven't told him."

"Okay."

"Rafe?" Buzz asked.

"Someone call my name?" Rafe came through the front door.

"He's about to find out," Olivia said.

Buzz stood.

Rafe saw Olivia and headed in a different direction.

"Rafe," Buzz called.

Olivia sighed and got up.

Rafe slunk over.

"Rafe," Olivia said, "I will give you a hundred dollars if you come with me, don't ask any questions, and shut the hell up."

"What? Hell no," he said.

"Rafe," Buzz said.

Rafe sighed. "Fine. I just wanted a sandwich."

"Go see if Blake will make you one," Buzz said.

Rafe went into the kitchen.

Olivia said, "It would be nice if you didn't interfere with my parenting."

"That wasn't parenting, Olivia. That was offering a kid money to get into your car. That's Stranger Danger."

"Whatever."

"He's going, isn't he?"

"Yes. Thank you. Has the FBI talked to him yet?"

"Not yet. For some reason, they haven't been able to find him. It's like someone's between texting him, telling him to watch his back."

"You?"

"Like I can figure that out. I can barely call you. And my phone has a listing for O-L-I-V-I-A. And your picture. So it must be Daisy or something."

Olivia pursed her lips.

Rafe came back with a paper bag. He said, "I had them make you one too, Olivia."

"Thank you, Rafe."

"Can we go?"

She strode toward the door. Rafe followed.

Buzz gave them a little wave. "Don't kill each other before you get to the hotel."

* * *

Natalia and Phillip both froze as someone pounded on the door. Phillip stood and waved Natalia toward the bathroom. Voices came through the door.

"Why do I have to knock on your door, Olivia? Is Emma--"

Natalia ran for the door and flung it open.

Rafe paused mid-knock. "Ma."

"Rafe!"

Natalia flung her arms around his neck and pulled him inside, hugging him close.

Olivia followed and shut the door. Phillip met her gaze.

"Where's Emma?" Olivia asked.

"Time-out."

Olivia raised her eyebrows.

Natalia said, still strangling Rafe, "She said Candy Land was stupid. Don't worry, I handled all the discipline. Phillip said nothing."

"Good."

"It was highly entertaining," Phillip said.

"Ma, could you let me go?"

"No."

Olivia went to Emma's door. "You can come out, Emma. Special dispensation."

"Why?" Emma called.

"Come see."

Emma warily came to the door. "Rafe!" she called, and ran for him and Natalia.

"Aw," Phillip said.

Olivia frowned.

Phillip said, "Go."

Natalia said, "Come."

"But--"

Phillip pushed Olivia until Natalia could wrap an arm around her neck. Olivia grunted, embracing Natalia and Rafe, who both patiently bore it with Emma squeezed between them. Natalia met her eyes.

Olivia smiled.

Phillip grabbed Olivia's camera. "Okay, everyone, look at me."

They turned, smiling, blinking at the flash, limbs askew.

Olivia said, "Great. Who wants lunch?"

Rafe lifted his bag of sandwiches.

* * *

Olivia got a call from Doris. She checked her watch. Four o'clock. She slipped away from the charades game in her suite and into the hallway. When she came back, everyone looked expectantly at her.

"Emma, why don't you go grab the white board in your room? I think that will help us keep score."

"Mom."

"Go."

Emma rolled her eyes and tugged Rafe's sleeve. "I want to know everything they say."

He saluted.

When Emma was gone, Olivia said, "Doris thinks you should surrender."

Natalia curled her lip, and then nodded.

"She's making arrangements for tomorrow morning."

"What about tonight?" Rafe asked.

Olivia said, "I don't think you should stay here. Phillip?"

"Sure, I can take them to the mansion."

"I can stay with Frank--"

"Frank's helping with the investigation. He wouldn't be able to protect you."

"Protect me?"

"I can protect him," Phillip said.

"Guys, I don't need--"

"Hush, Rafe."

Rafe narrowed his eyes.

Phillip asked, "You'll really let me take Emma?"

"For one night. She'll be surrounded by people."

Phillip nodded.

Olivia went to Emma's door. "Pack a bag, sweetheart. You and Rafe are going for a sleepover at the Spaulding mansion tonight."

Emma beamed.

"Wait," Rafe said. "Before we go, Ma, I have to tell you--"

"Don't," Olivia said.

"Stay out of it, Olivia. It's not going to make it any better if I tell her tomorrow."

"Oh, God, tell me what?" Natalia asked.

Phillip helped Natalia sit on the bed.

Rafe sat beside her and took her hands. "Ma," he said.

She closed her eyes.

"Ma, I enlisted," he said.

Natalia bowed her face and began to cry.

"In the Army," Rafe said, scrambling to hug her to his chest. "Don't cry. I'm so glad you're back, so I could tell you."

"What? Go un-enlist. I'm back. You don't have to--"

"It doesn't work like that, okay? I would have done it if you were here, even. I swear. This is something I'm doing for me."

"Rafe!"

Olivia crooked her finger at Phillip and they crept into Emma's room and shut the door.

* * *

"It's late," Natalia said when Phillip had taken the children.

Olivia nodded, but kept leaning on the door, not looking in her direction.

"Let me order dinner, okay? I'll make everything nice for you."

"You can't--Your voice."

"I'll disguise it. They'll never know."

Olivia smiled.

Natalia went and leaned against her back. "Hey," she said.

Olivia moved away.

"Olivia..."

Olivia asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you come to me. Or call. Or ask. Why?"

"I was scared. Being scared made me do stupid things. You've never been scared before? You've never run?"

Olivia looked at Emma's door. Then she turned to Natalia.

"Not from you," Olivia said.

"You moved out!"

Olivia folded her arms. "You broke my heart, Natalia. Into a million pieces. I'm glad you're back--so glad--but this is going to take time. I can't just heal overnight."

Natalia moved closer. "I know. I'm sorry, Olivia."

"I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to do anything. I don't expect--I know this will take time. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Olivia took a deep breath.

Natalia said, "Be as pissed as you want to. For as long as you want to. As long as you don't leave me, Olivia."

"I wish--I mean, my head is telling my heart everything is fine, but... every day, I thought you were hurt. Or that you hated me. And which was it going to be today? Imagining you hurt and alone somewhere? Where I couldn't save you? Or imagining every little mistake I'd made that drove you away and made you hate me?"

"I would have done anything to keep you safe."

"Being safe is not the important thing."

Natalia said. "I know. I know. Just let me--" She reached for Olivia, hesitating, and then when Olivia didn't move, taking Olivia into her arms. Olivia's hands settled onto her shoulders.

"Not like that," Natalia said.

Then Olivia cupped her neck, and held her closer, so that they fit together. Natalia's eyes drifted closed. Lips brushed her temple.

"We're going to get through this," Natalia said. "And the next thing, and the next thing. Together."

"Until it kills us," Olivia said.

"See? I'm finally coming around to your way of thinking."

Olivia smiled. She stepped back and said, "I want to see you order dinner."

"In my funny voice?"

"Bring it on."

Natalia picked up the receiver. "Questo e room service? Bonjourno," she said.

Olivia sank to her knees, laughing.

* * *

Olivia had showered and dressed for dinner and emerged from the bathroom to find a table set with roses and candles.

"How did you manage that?"

"It's the Italian package," Natalia said.

"We don't have--" Olivia took a breath. "It's the honeymoon package."

"Charged to your room."

"I cannot wait to see what the rumor mill says about this."

"Greg brought the service up to the room personally."

"Did he recognize you?"

"He did."

"Did he faint?"

"He kind of clutched his heart and staggered. I told him you'd give him the weekend off if he managed not to tell everyone for twelve hours, though."

"You'll have surrendered by then."

"And I'll either be in witness protection, or in jail, or here with you."

"I know what my vote is," Olivia said.

"You don't get a vote."

"Why don't I get a vote?"

Natalia pushed her to a chair. "Sit. Let me get changed."

Olivia raised her eyebrows.

Natalia disappeared into the bathroom.

Olivia sat and unfolded a napkin on her lap and then poured sparkling water into two glasses and smelled the roses. And then just fidgeted.

Natalia re-emerged. Olivia would have stood at the sight of her beauty if her body hadn't instantly turned to jelly.

"Hi," Natalia said.

Olivia choked something out.

Natalia smiled and strode to Olivia's side of the table. "I'm hoping this will help us make a new start."

"If you say so," Olivia said.

Natalia settled her hands onto Olivia's shoulders. "The table really does look incredible."

"It does. Closer," Olivia said.

"Hm?"

Olivia tilted her head back. "Closer."

Natalia stroked her jaw, leaning down, meeting her gaze. Olivia tangled her fingers in Natalia's hair and pulled her down until their lips met. She kissed Natalia, parting her lips against Natalia's insistent tugging. Natalia's tongue slid across hers, and then retreated, as Natalia straightened.

"Eating first," Natalia said.

"Is that medical advice?"

"I've just always loved looking into your eyes with candlelight between us."

"Have you?"

Natalia smiled. That they'd done that a few times at the farmhouse, playing at being adults, over pasta, over eggplant. Once they'd even held hands, laughing. Like it meant nothing, except that they were comfortable with each other. That they were happy.

Natalia reached for her hand across the table.

Olivia smiled. "Buon Appetito."

"Okay, it's only funny when I do it."

* * *

Natalia pulled the covers down and prepared Olivia's bed, because that's what she always did, but when Olivia, elegant in a satin gown and robe, deigned to settle into the bed and look at her, Natalia quaked. She'd borrowed pajamas from Olivia and it felt like layers of fabric. It felt like nothing at all.

"I could... sleep in Emma's room. I mean, it's empty, and..."

Olivia's face fell. "If you want to. I'm not going to stop you."

"What do you want?"

"Isn't it obvious what I want?"

Natalia knelt on the bed. "It's not always obvious what's good for you. What's right."

"Then you haven't been paying attention."

Natalia smiled. She let Olivia take her hand and pull her onto the bed. Olivia pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. Natalia laid her hand on Olivia's chest.

"How's your heart?" Natalia asked.

"Still beating."

Natalia tilted her head up and smiled.

Olivia shifted, so she was propped against the pillows, facing Natalia. "You wined and dined me. Was there something you wanted?"

"When I'm with you, the things I want seem to fade away. There's just..."

"Just what?" Olivia asked, pushing Natalia's hair back, tucking it behind her ear.

"Bliss," Natalia said.

"Heavenly?"

Natalia touched Olivia's lips. "You have no idea."

Olivia kissed Natalia's fingertips, and then Natalia moved closer, so that Olivia could kiss her lips and slip an arm around her waist.

"This," Natalia said.

She held Olivia's head, opening her mouth to beg for deeper kisses. Olivia shifted, rolling onto her. Natalia hugged her with all her strength. Olivia settled against her, until one leg was draped between hers and Natalia's hands were sliding across Olivia's back, over exquisite satin.

"No heavy lifting," Natalia murmured, as Olivia propped herself up on her elbows. Natalia tugged her back down.

"We really can't do this," Olivia purred.

"No?"

Olivia kissed her cheek, and then her jaw, and then whispered in her ear, "No."

"Why not?"

"We're not at the farmhouse."

"I see your--" Natalia quivered as Olivia's tongue traced ear ear. "Okay, I don't see your point."

"This is just practice," Olivia said.

Natalia squeezed her arm. "Like you need practice."

"I need all the help I can get."

Natalia gave her a little push, and Olivia oozed to her side until Natalia could roll over and face her. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Olivia said.

Natalia took Olivia's hand and brought it between them, pressing it against her heart. "I am never going to sleep anywhere else but by your side again."

Olivia smiled with watery eyes.

Natalia drew Olivia's hand to her breast. Olivia looked down at their hands, and then back at Natalia's face.

"Kiss me?" Natalia asked.

Olivia pressed her forehead against Natalia's, and asked, "Where?"

Natalia groaned and rolled onto her back. Olivia's lips landed on her cheek, and then the corner of her mouth, and then her chin, and Olivia's fingers stroked, and squeezed, until Natalia wanted to drag Olivia's hand under her top. She abandoned Olivia's hand and reached for her neck, pulling her into a firm, hungry kiss. Olivia kissed her back obligingly, but her fingers strayed. When they stroked Natalia's bare skin, just under the edge of her hem, she shuddered.

"Too much?" Olivia asked.

"I just can't breathe."

Olivia settled against her shoulder, letting Natalia squeeze her wrist, settling her hand back onto fabric-covered stomach.

"Olivia," Natalia said.

Olivia traced her throat, with one pencil-like finger, and then between her breasts, and then up to her lips.

Natalia kissed Olivia's fingertip. "Just a few more hours."

"Mm."

"What do you want, Olivia?"

Olivia twisted, wrapping herself around Natalia, chaste but close. "I want to hold you and pretend I won't have to let you go."

"Okay."

They shifted, they adjusted bedclothes, they squirmed, until Olivia spooned Natalia and her hand was against Natalia's heart. Natalia's breathing was even, but her shoulders were tense.

"Can you sleep like this?" Olivia asked.

"I don't care."

"Big day tomorrow."

"I don't care."

"God visited me in a dream and says he doesn't like your hair."

Natalia elbowed Olivia.

"I love you," Olivia said. She kissed Natalia's neck.

Natalia relaxed. "In the morning, I want to wake up just like this."

"You will."

"If I don't, you're in big trouble."

* * *

Doris surveyed the crowd in the court room. Her office hadn't been big enough to hold everyone.

"Are we ready?" she asked.

Natalia nodded.

Doris opened her cell phone. "Hello, police station. This is the mayor." She paused, and glanced at Mel. "Yes, really. The mayor of Springfield. Illinois. No, not that one. This one. Can I speak to Agent Mallet?" She listened. She sighed. "Okay, can I speak to Frank?"

Olivia, gripping Natalia's shoulder, rolled her eyes.

Doris said, "Well, it's not my fault my cousin quit. Hi, Frank. Are the FBI guys there? Well, find them. This is my town--Look, your father lost the election fair and square--Hey, you're Chief of Police, aren't you happy enough? Just put--Hi, FBI."

"His name is Carol," Olivia supplied.

"That's right. Agent Carol?--Agent Parker--This is Mayor Doris Wolfe. Yes, we spoke earlier. Yes, I suppose I could have called the number on your card--If I hadn't thrown it away the second you left, yes. Anyway, I have something you want. No, not that. Natalia Rivera."

Doris turned and gave Natalia a thumbs up.

Natalia sighed.

Doris pressed the phone to her ear. "Are you willing to negotiate an interview with her? No, I don't think that would--Please don't even try to tell me that Homeland Security is--"

Natalia tensed. Olivia wrapped her arms around her and frowned at Doris.

"Honestly," Doris said into the phone. "She's just a maid. It's her son that should be--"

"Doris," Olivia said.

"Hey," Natalia complained.

"Anyhow," Doris said. "Why don't you come down to the court house and we'll get this all settled. Peacefully." She hung up the phone and pointed at Natalia. "You are a menace."

Natalia pointed at Olivia.

Olivia smiled.

Doris said, "All right. They're going to come over in their big black SUV. We'll wait. You know, I was going to spend my Sunday getting a pedicure."

"I was going to spend mine at church," Natalia said.

"That's like, a pedicure for the soul."

Mel leaned back on the defense table. "And what are the charges again?"

"I'm not being charged with anything," Natalia said.

Mel looked to Olivia.

Olivia raised her hands. "Me either."

"Yet," Doris said.

"Frank is going to be pissed," Buzz said.

"You let me handle that."

A black car pulled up outside, followed by a police cruiser. The court room crowd all turned toward the entrance.

"That was fast," Natalia said.

"Small town. And they have sirens."

"I've never been pursued by the FBI, the CIA, and the cops before," Natalia said as the four men strolled in.

Olivia squeezed her shoulder. "Welcome to the club."

Carroll came up to Natalia. "You're Natalia Rivera? You're under--"

"And I'm her lawyer," Mel called.

"And I'm her priest," Father Ray offered.

"You brought a priest?"

Natalia smiled.

Carroll glanced at Mel, then at Doris, then at Olivia and Buzz. "Can I speak to Ms. Rivera and her lawyer and her priest privately?"

Olivia said, "I'm not leaving."

Frank sidled up to Buzz. "Why didn't you tell me Natalia was back?"

Olivia said, "Didn't want you to lose your job, Frankie."

"What are you talking about? I would do anything for--Oh."

Olivia snapped her fingers.

Carroll said, "Please?"

"Buzz, why don't you and I go look at all the stuff in my office," Doris said.

Buzz saluted. Doris offered her arm. He strolled off with her.

Carroll looked at Olivia.

Olivia leaned against Natalia's shoulder.

Carroll said, "You seem to be everywhere, Ms. Spencer."

"I do get around."

"I see." Carroll turned to Natalia. "Where's Raphael Rivera?"

Natalia narrowed her eyes.

Olivia said, "He's at the Spaulding mansion, behind three bodyguards, an electrified fence, a bolted door, and six Spauldings. Did he see your little mobster friend?"

"We never said he was a mobster," Carroll said. "But no, he didn't. You're right. It's more of an assessment of flight risk."

"That's an assessment we already made," Olivia said.

"Olivia," Natalia said. She reached for Olivia's hand on her shoulder.

Carroll opened his briefcase and pulled out the picture of Grady he'd shown Olivia.

Natalia shivered. Carroll offered the picture, but Natalia didn't take it.

"You know this man?" Carroll asked.

"Adam Grady, sure," Natalia said.

"How do you know him?"

Natalia bit her lip.

Olivia glanced at Frank. He took Mallet's arm and they walked to the back of the courtroom, to the main doors. Mel eyed Natalia from her table, but didn't move.

Natalia closed her eyes. "I used to work for Wrench. The nightclub in Chicago?"

Carroll nodded.

"I waitressed there. At night on the weekends. I mean, every girl wanted a job at Wrench. The gay bars were cleaner and nobody would hit on you. But Grady owned a piece of it."

Carroll nodded. "In what capacity did you see him there?"

Olivia looked away.

Father Ray took a stroll down to Frank's side of the room.

Natalia said, "I used to see him do coke in the women's room all the time. I mean, no one ever went in there, so he did. And I think he liked me to catch him. He'd usually offer me a hit. As if."

Carroll hadn't taken any notes. He folded his arms, and asked, "What changed?"

"One night, he was in a bad mood. I don't know why. Maybe he got dumped. Maybe the coke was cut with something that made him crazy. And he--"

Natalia looked at Olivia and waited until Olivia looked back, and then squeezed her hand. Natalia turned her attention to Carroll.

She said, "He came after me. And that was the last straw. I got away and packed up and took out all my savings and came to Springfield."

"To see Gus Aitoro?"

"No," Natalia said.

Olivia worked her jaw.

"What, then?" Carroll asked.

Natalia glanced at Mel. Mel stood up.

Carroll asked, "Did you hurt anyone, Ms. Rivera?"

Natalia shook her head.

"Then we're not going to arrest you. Why did you come to Springfield?"

"To tell Danny Santos what went down. But I ran into the cops first. Harley Cooper and... And Nicky. And they changed things. And then Rafe got in trouble."

Carroll nodded. "So you never had that conversation with Danny."

"No."

"But you dropped a dime on Grady before you left Chicago."

"Yes."

"And again, six weeks ago."

Natalia shook her head. "I asked Blake--Blake Marler--to call the tip line for me. I guess she did."

"Ms. Rivera," Carroll said. "We raided that club a few weeks after you left. Grady was in prison until three months ago."

"You think he's looking for me?"

"Not necessarily, but I think if he saw you, he might put things together."

Natalia lowered her head.

"What do we do now?" Olivia asked.

Carroll said, "We're still going through your records."

"Your records?" Natalia asked.

"The Beacon receipts. If he stayed there..."

Natalia nodded. "I can't believe you'd help them."

"If it helps you, I will."

Natalia gave her a small smile.

Carroll said, "If we need to talk to you again, we'll call your lawyer and set something up?"

Natalia nodded.

Mel offered her card.

Olivia said, "What are you going to do to keep her safe?"

"Olivia."

Carroll said, "We think she's safe. No one in town has seen him in the last few weeks. In the short term, we don't think he'll come back. In the long term... you've got our number."

"We've got your number?" Olivia asked.

"Olivia, it's all right," Natalia said. She squeezed Olivia's hand.

"I want an around-the-clock guard, Natalia."

"No. I just want to go home."

Carroll said, "If we thought she was in danger, we'd take care of her."

Father Ray strode back. "This is a small town, Agent Parker. We take care of our own."

Natalia stood. "He's right."

Carroll nodded. "Like I said, there's no danger. We'll be in touch."

Carroll and his partner walked toward the exit, where Mallet escorted them out. Frank stayed behind.

"Asshole," Olivia said.

"What was that for?"

"For good measure."

"Now what?" Mel asked.

"Now I guess I don't have to hide anymore."

"Except from Adam Grady," Olivia said.

"He's not here. Take me home?"

Olivia took her elbow.

Frank said, "Welcome back, Natalia."

"I'll call you, Frank. And Father Ray. And I'll come to Company. I promise. Just..."

"The farmhouse?" Olivia asked.

"If it's still standing."

"I didn't burn it down."

Natalia leaned into her.

Olivia said, "I admit, I was tempted."

* * *

Natalia paused on the threshold. "I haven't been back here."

"It's your home."

"It's our home," Natalia said.

"So let's go inside."

Natalia turned to look at the lawn, pale green in the late afternoon sunshine. She looked back at Olivia.

Olivia raised her eyebrows.

Natalia said, "Every single time we stood on this porch together, I wanted to... do this." She hugged Olivia.

Olivia cradled the back of Natalia's head. "Every time?"

"Every moment since we moved in."

"And you're just not good at seizing the day?"

Natalia snorted. "That's more your thing."

"Right."

Natalia pressed a kiss to Olivia's shoulder.

"Maybe we should go inside," Olivia said.

Natalia looked up. "You did something, didn't you?"

"I haven't set foot in this house since you left."

"Well, why not?"

"It was empty."

Natalia stepped back and opened the door. The faint scent of roses wafted out.

"Who actually has set foot in this house?" Natalia asked.

Olivia placed a hand on her back and ushered her inside.

The windows had all been opened, so the house had a warm, humid, sticky feeling. Olivia walked through the kitchen to turn on the air conditioner, leaving Natalia to marvel.

Three roses--red, pink, and white--sat in a vase on the kitchen table, with one fat, stubby lit candle--actually emitting the rose scent, surrounded by food. Vegetables, cheeses, crackers, and--Natalia counted--six kinds of dips.

Olivia strolled back.

"Who did this?" Natalia asked.

"Blake."

"Why?"

"She loves you."

"Why?"'

Olivia came and took Natalia in her arms. "She's met you."

Natalia tugged Olivia closer.

"She loves me, too, and you saved me," Olivia said.

"Did she--" Natalia hesitated.

"She took care of me, yes. She let me be rude to her. Truly awful. And scraped me off the Beacon's bathroom floor a few times, and looked after Frank, too."

Natalia kissed Olivia, and then leaned sideways to pick up a carrot stick and dip it in hummus.

"Eat," Olivia said. "I'll close the windows upstairs."

"Don't be long."

Olivia went upstairs and into each bedroom. Emma's was just as it had been left. The bed was made. A teddy bear sat in the center of the pillows. Warm, sweet summer air made the curtains on the windows billow. Olivia inhaled. The anger had receded. She couldn't hold onto it, it came in flashes. She could recall it, if she really wanted to. If she concentrated, she could bring the anger back long enough to hurt Natalia. But then it would drain out of her again and leave her weak.

And Natalia was expecting--

Sex? Peace? Comfort? Olivia couldn't decide if Natalia thought Olivia would sweep her off her feet and fix everything, or if Olivia would storm downstairs and say, "Wait a damn minute."

Olivia walked from Emma's room to her own. Rafe's room, now. He had slept there, but from the vase of fresh daisies on the dresser, Blake had been there after. Olivia sat on the bed. She'd fought with Natalia in this room. She'd been protected by Natalia in this room. This was her home. And Rafe's home, where he'd babysat Emma and teased his mother and prayed. She fell back on the bed and looked at the ceiling.

She should really get back downstairs.

She could let Natalia seduce her, let Natalia think that her touches were healing. Redemptive. Let Natalia think that she could possess Olivia in every way that she wanted.

And Olivia would still be terrified.

She closed her eyes.

If she wanted this, she would have to say it. She would have to scream it in a graveyard.

This was her home. She had to build a life here. And if it was going to work at all, it would have to be on a firm foundation. Natalia had asked her to move in knowing that she would help, knowing that Olivia needed her. And Olivia had brought with her a piece of Chicago, and they'd made promises.

She sat up.

Natalia was downstairs. Natalia was back. Not being in the same with her was definitely a mistake, regardless of anything else.

Still, Olivia took a quick shower and changed into yoga pants and a tank top she found in her old drawer. Being out of the meeting-the-FBI power suit was a relief. She jogged downstairs.

Natalia sat at the kitchen table, but stood as Olivia entered.

And smiled.

With that smile, the last of the anger inside Olivia melted away. She smiled back.

"You changed," Natalia said. "I should--"

"No, you're fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I love that suit," Olivia said. "You look like you can take on the world."

"Well, the clothes make the man. Isn't that what you said?"

Olivia came and clasped her hands. "Natalia."

Natalia bit her lip and met Olivia's eyes.

Olivia said, "I just want to see you happy. You deserve so much happiness. I--"

Natalia swallowed.

Olivia asked, "Am I what makes you happy?"

Natalia tugged her hands free and took Olivia's face in her hands. "Yes. You."

"You can't protect me."

"Yes, I can. From Phillip, from yourself. From any Santos that walks through that door."

Olivia took her shoulders. "Not from you."

Natalia smiled.

"Promise?" Olivia asked.

Natalia stroked Olivia's chin and said, "I promise I won't hide myself. Not from anyone, but especially not from you. Never again."

Olivia pulled her close until her lips brushed Natalia's. She made a pledge with the kiss not to be desperate, not to grab what she could get before it went away again.

"What next?" Natalia asked when they parted.

"You're here with me, now," Olivia said. "You made your choice."

Natalia leaned back against the stove and closed her eyes. "Anything you want."

"I want to go upstairs with you," Olivia said, and then caught her breath.

Even after the last few nights together, and the last few months together, the naked declaration made Olivia feel shaky. She gazed at Natalia with a hard expression, masking her doubts. Natalia didn't deserve her doubts.

"What are we waiting for?" Natalia asked. She blew out the candle.

* * *

Olivia smiled and took her hand. With her other she took the roses from the vase. They walked upstairs like civilized people, like there was something else waiting for them in Natalia's small room besides a bed. Besides the breeze coming through the open window and the rumble of the air conditioner. The lights were off but the room was full of sunshine.

Natalia didn't point out that they were killing the planet, nor did she question Olivia tearing up roses and scattering petals in ungraceful clumps on the sheets they were about to pull back, and on the floor where they would get caught in the vacuum. She simply waited.

Olivia turned to her with a broad smile.

The heat and desire that began downstairs now pooled dangerously. Natalia couldn't move, not even her lips in order to beg Olivia to touch her. She had waited a lifetime for this. Now every second was too much.

If they had gone to the Bauer barbecue together, they would have had the whole night to hold each other. Emma would have been safe, not just with Phillip, but with a whole family to love and look after her. Their time together might have been just like this.

Olivia, standing in front of her, pulled off her tank top, baring her breasts. She winked.

Natalia laughed, her eyes full of tears. She reached out. Olivia darted away.

"Olivia," Natalia chastised.

"Trust me."

Natalia dropped her arms.

Olivia said, "I want to feel you against me."

"So we're on the same page, right?"

Olivia gave an exasperated sigh and came to Natalia. She tugged Natalia's shirt out of her skirt and let Natalia's arms settle around her shoulders. When Olivia could slide her hands underneath, she encircled Natalia's bare back and hugged her close.

The proximity made Natalia feel faint. When Olivia kissed her neck she groaned with the sensation that followed her racing pulse all the way down. She cupped the back of Olivia's head.

"I want this to last," Olivia said, and then kissed her ear.

"Once it happens, it will last forever."

Olivia drew back and frowned at her.

"Think about it."

"I am."

Natalia's gaze traveled from Olivia's breasts back up to her face.

Olivia drew up the hem of Natalia's shirt. "Let me undress you," she said.

"Please." Natalia raised her arms.

Olivia dropped the shirt where they stood and then gently turned Natalia around, pivoting her shoulders, and kissed her back before unclasping her bra.

"You're beautiful," Olivia said.

Natalia closed her eyes. Olivia traced Natalia's arms and then unzipped her skirt at the back and pushed it down her legs. Then Olivia was too close and Natalia couldn't breathe.

"Wait," she said, her heart pounding, when Olivia's fingers tucked inside her panties.

Everything stilled.

Olivia's breath came in short, soundless puffs against her neck.

Natalia turned around. "Let me," she said.

Olivia let go.

Natalia pushed down her panties, stepping out of them, and then knelt to do the same to Olivia's pants. Olivia held her arms away from her body, letting Natalia touch her, looking above her head. Maybe at the mirror. Natalia kissed Olivia's stomach and Olivia sucked in her breath. Natalia wanted to feel her tremble, wanted to know that Olivia felt exactly as she did.

Like she might die.

She wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist and held her and wondered, as Olivia's hands settled into her hair, if this would be an appropriate time to weep.

"Make you a deal," Olivia said.

Natalia had to clear her throat before she could speak. She nuzzled Olivia's hip with her nose and then said, "I'm listening."

"We turn down the sheets, we get into bed, and then--"

Natalia looked up. "And then?"

"We see where it goes."

Natalia grinned.

Olivia cupped her face and pulled her back to standing. "Deal?" she asked.

Natalia wanted to counter-propose just standing there and looking into Olivia's green eyes, to see them dancing with merriment and dangerous promises, but she nodded.

"Deal," she said.

Olivia left her to go to the other side of the bed and turn down the sheets.

Natalia discreetly closed the window.

Olivia fluffed pillows and then slipped into bed, leaving the sheet just at thigh-level, looking luxuriously expectant and lean and strong.

This was not the Olivia that Natalia had washed and bandaged a year ago. This expanse of skin was free of the open wounds of surgeries and bruises from falling and anemia. But it was the body Natalia had made all the same. She ached to be nearer to it, to feel the new skin and hear the beating heart.

She sat on the bed. Olivia smiled and Natalia let the love it offered wash over her.

The fear was the same that it had always been. That when they touched, she would fall to pieces. That it would be too much. That they would never recover from what would be wrought.

Olivia said, "Trust me."

"Trust you to what?" Natalia asked, even as she leaned backward, letting her head settle onto the pillow. Letting herself be near enough to Olivia that the proximity made her arm tingle and she wanted to reach out to soothe her own anxiety.

"To know you," Olivia said.

Even though Olivia meant it in the intellectual sense, not the Biblical, Natalia got the point.

She nodded.

Olivia sidled up to her and kissed her shoulder.

Natalia smiled.

Olivia rolled onto her knees. She pushed Natalia's legs apart to settle one knee between them, and braced herself crouching over Natalia, so that her hair fell between them and Natalia wanted to reach up and push it back.

She did, and then tangled her hands in Olivia's locks, and pulled her down.

Olivia kissed her, settling so that her breasts pressed into Natalia's and their hips met and their calves slid together. Then, just as Natalia was lifting her head, seeking Olivia's tongue, Olivia pulled back, long enough to whisper, "You won't break, Natalia."

"I want to," Natalia said, taking kisses from her lips. "Shatter me, Olivia. When I was just--a kid--making love under the stars, I could feel my whole future in those moments. Coming alive. Everything was so perfect."

"You can have that," Olivia said.

Natalia hooked a calf over Olivia's and curled her fingers in Olivia's hair to draw her back. She met Olivia's eyes.

"I know," she said.

Olivia grinned.

Natalia stroked the back of Olivia's neck, and asked, "You've never been with a woman."

Olivia shook her head.

"All those times, with Josh, with strangers, in bars..."

Olivia said, "I used women in different ways. The way I used you, to get Gus."

Natalia remembered Olivia's arms tightening around her. Olivia's breath, hot against her cheek as Natalia gave up Gus to a woman she hated.

"Honestly, I feel like I can breathe. Like I'm lighter. Like I'm hopeful..."

She regretted she hadn't done it sooner. She smiled, stroking Olivia's hair back from her face. Tracing her nose with one thumb.

Olivia looked quizzical, but asked no questions.

Natalia traced her lips, until Olivia parted them and nipped the tips of Natalia's fingers.

"I just mean," Natalia said, "You're a virgin. New heart, new chance."

Olivia hesitated, and then said, "I'll only ever be with one person, then."

"Very devout."

Olivia grinned. She let Natalia tease her lips, and then said, "If you're asking me if I know what I'm doing..."

"Oh, no, I would never ask that."

"Good." Olivia kissed her mouth, and then said, "Because I know..." She moved to kiss Natalia's neck. "What I'm doing..."

Natalia smiled, closing her eyes as Olivia's kisses rained against her shoulders, and then her chest, and then her breast. She shifted, pushing herself into Olivia's mouth. The desperation had faded. The electricity that had threatened to give her a heart attack at any moment had mutated into a searing lust. Her nipple rose between Olivia's lips and Olivia tugged and Natalia felt it everywhere.

She smiled, letting Olivia's mouth descend. In this newness there would be no stumbling, no false starts, no dead ends. Only Olivia's kisses. She groaned and Olivia's teeth grazed her thigh in response.

Olivia's hands held her hips. "I've got you," she said, just before she lowered her head.

Natalia gripped Olivia's hair. Olivia's tongue moved across her, so tender at first, the way Olivia would touch her cheek or hold her, that Natalia ached for more. Then the second touch, and then the third, and then lips joined tongue and Natalia arched to meet Olivia's whole mouth, giving into the pressure that was going to tear her apart.

White heat raced through her. She tensed and let go and tensed again as she shivered. Olivia was undoing her. This was the thing she had feared, this giving in. But Olivia was kissing her so sweetly that she didn't have the heart to resist her.

"Olivia," she called.

Olivia's caresses became less teasing, more firm, and just when Natalia was on the precipice, one more deliberate, slow, heady stroke of Olivia's tongue--just one more--and Natalia careened into orgasm. She clung to Olivia's head, panting. The shuddering, uncontrollable vibrations that had started with Olivia's lips on her nipple finally subsided, giving way to jolts provoked by Olivia's naughty kisses coming just when Natalia tried to relax.

"Olivia, come here," Natalia said.

Olivia obediently rose and returned to her side, where Natalia could see she was crying and pulled her into her arms. The ferocity of Olivia's return embrace surprised her, and though it felt good to be so held, Natalia sensed that they were still suspended within this. That her task wasn't done.

"Olivia," she crooned, cupping the back of Olivia's neck.

"Mm."

Natalia stroked her hair and her back and her sides, anywhere she could reach, but Olivia's weight, Olivia's grip, restrained her. She kissed sweaty, tear-streaked skin and said, "Let's swap."

"Not yet," Olivia said.

Natalia tugged impatiently at her arm.

Olivia sighed.

Natalia cheated, feeling slightly guilty as she said, "You're crushing me."

Olivia loosened her hold and Natalia pressed, rolling her onto her back.

Natalia knelt above her.

Olivia squinted. "Liar."

Natalia grinned.

"How can you be so--" Olivia seemed to consider her words carefully. "Energetic?"

Natalia shivered as Olivia lazily trailed fingernails down her arm. She shrugged.

"No theories?" Olivia asked.

Natalia said, "This is...inspiring. Like, the way you get your super powers from annoying people? I get mine from this."

"And what is this, Natalia?"

"Love." Natalia smiled.

Olivia's fingers moved back up her arm, and then cupped her chin to urge her down for a kiss. Natalia sank against Olivia's lips, which moved deliriously against hers. She settled against Olivia. She made note of the splotchy, flushed skin, of the hooded, hungry look in Olivia's eyes. Of the jagged points of Olivia's nipples pressing into her. Of Olivia's hands restlessly touching her wherever they could reach without lingering in any particular spot or making any particular request.

She pulled away from the kiss and noted Olivia's choked gasp. She touched with one finger the taut chord of Olivia's neck.

Olivia's hands stopped moving.

Natalia moved, instead, shifting against Olivia, and then sliding, bringing their bodies together. Olivia raised her knee. Natalia pillowed one elbow next to her ear. Then they fit together. They rocked together. Natalia brushed hair from Olivia's eyes.

"Olivia," she said. "You're going to have to trust me."

"I don't know if I can," Olivia said, even as her hips lifted against Natalia's. Even as her body demanded satisfaction.

Natalia kissed her.

Olivia turned her head, closing her eyes. "It's too intense."

Natalia pressed her forehead to Olivia's cheek. "Stay with me."

Olivia pulled Natalia tighter against her. Natalia worked her hand between their bodies to where her thigh pressed. She paused, thinking of how Olivia had never been touched her by another woman, that maybe this was forbidden, just this part. That maybe she would fail. That maybe Olivia wasn't ready, that maybe Olivia didn't want to be broken, not again.

She touched anyway, slipping into the wetness, reaching, and Olivia seized and yanked her closer. They resumed moving together. Olivia still had her eyes closed, but she turned her head, slightly, toward Natalia.

"Please kiss me," Olivia said.

Natalia shifted her elbow and pulled herself down to Olivia's mouth, capturing her lips as her hand moved against her, as Olivia shuddered against her in return. They kissed haphazardly. Then Olivia arched her head back to gasp, to plea, to cry out. Olivia made Natalia had never heard before but urged on with her hand. Guttural and plaintive, they almost hurt to hear, but she moved with Olivia, followed Olivia to a sharp, puncturing cry as Olivia, who had been quaking beneath her, and with her, froze completely. Natalia did not still, but pressed onward inside Olivia's moment.

Then Olivia deflated with a heavy gust, with another choked, raspy scream, and the trembling resumed. Olivia pulled her away and squeezed her wrist, hard. Natalia hoped there would be a bruise. Evidence of what she'd done.

"Natalia," Olivia said, and licked her lips. Her eyes stayed closed.

"I'm here."

"Thank you."

Natalia pulled free of her grasp and cupped her face gently and kissed her parted lips. Olivia didn't kiss back, but smiled, and spread her arms sideways.

Natalia said, "I don't know what to say."

Olivia said, "Give me five minutes and I'll think of something clever."

Natalia tucked herself against Olivia's shoulder, letting her eyes drift closed. Eventually Olivia regained the strength to hold her, and they stayed like that, together as the sunlight coming through the window turned to orange.

Olivia said, "I want to do that again."

"Right now?"

"Very, very soon."

Natalia lifted herself onto one elbow.

Their eyes met. They shared a smile. They shared a kiss.

"All right," Natalia said.

SHe sat up, straddling Olivia's hips, laughing at the way Olivia quirked an eyebrow as Natalia's hands settled onto her breasts.

The doorbell could ring. The FBI could come hot on the heels of some jerk Natalia had mostly forgotten. Or Reva could come chasing down an errant lover. Anything could happen outside their bedroom, but Natalia was not going to go looking for it. She would stay here.

She would smile and let Olivia make her happy as if of all the things Olivia was good at, this was her true life's work.

"Stop laughing," Olivia said.

"I laugh when I'm happy," Natalia said, leaning down to kiss Olivia's face. "Sue me."

"There are other methods of recourse I'd like to try first before bringing lawyers into it."

Natalia closed her eyes as Olivia's fingers trailed down her back. "Hm."

"Maybe we could negotiate," Olivia said.

"My happiness? I don't think so."

"You're a hard woman, Natalia Rivera," Olivia said.

Olivia arched up to kiss Natalia's lips, and then her chin, and then her throat. She pulled Natalia higher and Natalia let her, gasping as Olivia's mouth settled onto her breast.

Natalia said, "When I fantasized about this..."

Olivia blew warm air against her nipple as she said, "Go on."

"I never pictured what you would do to me, I guess."

Olivia pushed Natalia up in order to see her face. "Really?"

"I'm not saying--I mean, you're generous in every way possible--I think it was more me." Natalia pressed forward against Olivia's grip. "I just thought of ways to please you. Different ways I could, um. Make you scream. Like--Like that. I wanted to show you how much I loved you."

"I'm not opposed."

"No?"

"As long as I get my chance," Olivia said.

"Oh, you'll get your chance."

"I look forward to it."

Natalia smirked and slid lower until she could kiss Olivia's stomach. Olivia's hands stayed on her shoulders, not pushing, or pulling, or squeezing. Just touching. Natalia inhaled. Olivia's skin under her lips. She opened her mouth, making wet circles on Olivia's torso. Olivia let out a sigh. The sound was peaceful. Like whatever demon she had been holding inside her, Natalia had managed to release.

Now might be the time to weep. Natalia pressed her cheek to Olivia's stomach and closed her eyes.

Olivia's hands moved to her hair, stroking.

"I'm just going to stay here for a moment," Natalia said.

"Whatever you want."

Whatever she wanted. Natalia might want a pony. Or a penthouse in Chicago. Or the moon and the stars. Olivia might sell the Beacon and buy her a rocket. Or maybe an island. She'd never been with someone who could offer her so much.

"I only want you," she said.

"You're in luck," Olivia replied.

"Don't I know it. I think I found the deal of the century."

Olivia scratched along her scalp. "You know how I know you're sleepy?"

"You know everything about me?"

"Yup. Come here."

"Don't want to move."

Olivia tugged her shoulders. "Please?"

"Okay." Natalia heaved a mighty sigh and pulled herself to her knees. She crawled up to nestle in Olivia's offered arms.

"That's better," Olivia said.

"Than what I was offering?"

"You were drooling on my stomach."

"It's drool-worthy."

Olivia tilted back to regard her and then smiled and kissed her, rolling against her to pull Natalia to her lips. Natalia smiled against the kiss and then parted her lips. Olivia's tongue slipped into her mouth, delicate and exploring, letting Natalia's meet it without force. Only greeting. Natalia rolled onto her back and let Olivia's kiss fall onto her hair instead.

"Tell me you love me," Natalia asked.

"Every day of my life," Olivia whispered.

END


End file.
